Anonymous
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| Anonymous | I am planning a home birth in a few months and am starting to freak out about some of the post-partum logistics. With #1 I birthed in a hospital so had 48 hours of rest and room service after the baby was born. I think I only got up to shower and use the bathroom. With this one, I will have not only myself and a newborn to care for but also a high enery toddler running around. I anticipate that husband will be great taking care of the toddler but not as great waiting on me. Food, etc isn't really his thing. What kind of post-partum support did you have the first few days following the birth? Was it enough? How soon after the delivery were you up and moving around? Any suggestions? |
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| Anonymous | What about hiring a post partum doula? |
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| Anonymous | One of my favorite subjects!
OP, my friends who think I am crazy for staying home to have babies always cite the "48 hours of food delivered to your room" as a perk they could not possibly pass up. I always reply that those 48/24/however many hours I was forced to stay in the hospital were one of the reasons I chose to stay home! Here are some reasons why you will be so happy to be home: After the birth, you will luxuriate in your cozy bed, in your cozy room, in your cozy house. You will have your fridge stocked with all of your favorite treats, because as your last stage of nesting, you will have filled your home with everything your heart desires. You will feel like you can do anything. You will find yourself being steered back to your bed, because you will have tons of energy and see no reason to take it easy. (But listen to your midwife and take it easy anyway!) You will be able to parade around half-naked and shower as long as you like and there will be no strangers to sap your energy. Send your husband out to pick up your favorite take out, and have him bring the toddler with him so you have some quiet time. Have a wrapped present for your toddler stashed in your room, and say that it is a birthday party for their new sibling, and they need to open the present, since the baby is still too little. Have the present be something engaging (Wedgits or Magformers or something), so it will keep your toddler occupied. Don't feel guilty if you lean on PBSKids or a favorite movie the first couple of days. You'll be astonished by how much your toddler will love the new baby. Honestly, you will not need much at all. You will be captivated by the baby, and reliving the beautiful experience in your mind, maybe writing it down. You will appreciate the cocoon of your room and the haven of your house. You will cherish the little visits of your toddler, and marvel over your husband sleeping next to you with your baby in between. Your midwife (and doula, if you have one) should do several home visits those first few days automatically, and more if you need them. If everything goes well, the visits will just be for reassurance, anyway. For me, I have my sister close by, and older children, so for the very first day, my sister stayed and helped my (utterly exhausted but blissful) husband hold down the fort. I had stocked the house with everything I could possibly crave (chocolate and red meat are my usual desires...and my sister brought chocolate chip cookies, yum!), and some frozen meals for the family, though we got pizza for the first dinner. I was up and about immediately, and had to constantly be reminded to rest. I savored every single second of those first few days...unlike in the hospital, when my kids were harassed for visiting and strangers were barging in at the worst times and I was constantly being lectured about everything, I had all the comfort and rest and peace in the world. I am about to be there for my sister, who is having her third baby, and I can't wait to pamper her. If you do not have family, do you have friends close by? If so, can you request help in advance? Ask a dear friend if you can send her an alert as soon as the baby is born, and then she can arrange for meals and playdates for your son that first week or two? She can let your circle of friends know to just quietly drop off the food or whisk your toddler away--if you are awake and feeling up to a visit at the time, though, you may invite them in to coo at the baby. And perhaps some of your friends are close enough to you to spend a morning scrubbing bathrooms and doing laundry and tidying up while you rest? In my community, all the moms do these things for one another, and they are so essential. They make the mom rest, of course, but they also make her feel cherished and safe and supported during that delicate time. If you have neither family nor close friends, you can always hire someone to do some things. Lean on take out for a few days. Do you have an occasional babysitter who can come and keep your toddler occupied for a bit? What about using a Groupon for a one-time cleaning service to super-clean your house? I am, frankly, so envious that you still get to anticipate this blessed occasion. My youngest is only three months, but it seems like so long ago that I last had a baby. Enjoy! |
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| Anonymous | Ditto the above advice. Find some help, either family, friends, or a postpartum doula. Also, at least for me, the 48 hours of no interrupted sleep by the nurses (baby wakes up enough thanks!) sounds good enough to compensate for having to plan my own food.
In 48 hours, you'll eat a max of what, six meals plus four snacks? Max. Freeze some big lasagnas in toss away pans, have fresh fruit and snack bars on hand, voila. It sounds like alot until you consider how simple it can be to freeze leftovers. Think of Thanksgiving leftovers, potatoes and turkey with gravey frozen in a tin pan. Also, with two of you plus toddler, you can always get a $5 footlong from subway and split it. Not the biggest meal ever but very healthy and cheap. |
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| Anonymous | OP, I agree with the recommendation to have someone additional stay for the first couple of days if you can. Our midwives followed a "one trip down and up stairs per day postpartum" rule and that was a good guideline for how quickly I recovered. I have only had one, so it is definitely different, but we also followed their system of wake up, DH gets and changes baby while I pee, DH brings baby to me, DH gets water (we kept a pitcher up in the bedroom) and food while I nurse baby, baby goes back to sleep and we do it all over again. We were actually awake most of the day (against recommendation) but I definitely wouldn't have been up for handling another child.
Since this is your second, you may be physically more able than you were the first time around. If you are going to be handling food for yourself, consider buying or borrowing a dorm fridge for your bedroom (if you have the space). You can stock it with fresh fruit, nuts, and cooked chicken. I also found bran muffins or any kind of whole wheat muffin to be a godsend, those are what I ate when I needed a snack (i.e. every time I nursed in the middle of the night!). You can make a bunch ahead of time and freeze them, they thaw really nicely. See if one of your friends has a stand-alone freezer that you could borrow some space in. If you can arrange to have someone take care of your older child for most of the day for the first 2 days, that would be how I would approach it. If not a family member, a good friend with kids the same age would work (if you have someone who could be available during the day). The more they can be out of the house doing fun stuff, the better the chance that you and DH can get some sleep during the day. |
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| Anonymous | Anonymous wrote:Ditto the above advice. Find some help, either family, friends, or a postpartum doula. Also, at least for me, the 48 hours of no interrupted sleep by the nurses (baby wakes up enough thanks!) sounds good enough to compensate for having to plan my own food. I ate every 3 hours with my first, so that would be 16 small meals / big snacks. |
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| Anonymous | I really want to know( I am not a troll) what if there is an emergency???? A home birth sounds lovely in theory but practically the health of your baby and you is more important than having a cozy bed and snacks. Emergencies
?do happen and those 15min or 10 min from the hospital could alter everything. I know I am openiing a can of worms but I am very anti home births. Please do not give me the story that women gave birth at home for centuries. Many mothers and children had tragic endings. |
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| Anonymous | Anonymous wrote:One of my favorite subjects! So I'm going to be the bizarro DCUM poster and actually applaud a PP that did something completely different from me. I just had my second c/s (first was emergency and second was a choice based on my experience with the first). I thought my experience was great. I'm not going to ruin this home birth thread with all the positive things about my experiences. But I have to say PP, your experience seems really wonderful and it really worked for you. That is all. |
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| Anonymous |
OP here. Sorry, I only asked for home birth moms to chime in. You can start another thread on this topic if you so desire. |
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| Anonymous | OP here. Thank you mamas for all the very helpful, wise, and supportive advice. I really appreciate it! Keep it coming if you think of anything else! |
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| Anonymous | Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:One of my favorite subjects! |
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| Anonymous | I had my 2nd baby earlier this year and it was a home birth.lured My husband was very helpful, but I was also very thankful for my mom who flew in from out of town. She took my toddler out to museums, parks, etc so that I could rest at home with the new baby.
I absolutely loved my home birth experience and after having a hospital birth with number one, I am so thankful to be able to stay home with my whole family (toddler included) after baby 2. It was perfect. |
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| Anonymous | (lured= typo. sorry typing on iPad) |
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| Anonymous | . OP, I'm the long-winded PP again, with one more little bit: If you have anyone you can lean on besides your husband, do so, because there is something about birth that drains the dad, and he will need some babying, too. I have had a few at home, and I have assisted at other births, and it's almost funny how similar the dads' reactions are: once they know everyone is safe and sound, they just collapse. A happy collapse. But if they are still needed 24/7, it can be asking a bit much of them, and you'll need him to be steady as a rock when your milk comes in/the weepies start/you realize you need more witch hazel/etc. You know your husband--anticipate his needs as much as yours, and try to set up a good support system in advance. This is all just so wonderful! |
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Source: http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/preList/252667/2660262.page
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